“My goal as a website is to ‘be the asshole who pointlessly interjects himself into the conversation’ without being as overtly annoying as ‘the asshole who always pointless interjects himself into the conversation.’”—carles
soooo, this had to be weird for DJ Mister Cee to hear a gajillion times?
"so anytime you ready mister cee, we gonna get hardcore on these homos…"
"n’s press they luck’n, they get a butt fuckin…"
and it’s interesting because in context of the culture, biggie was relatively progressive w these lyrics. getting a little graphic was part of the legend. your average 90s battle-rapper would ramble ad nauseam about not being a pussy blahblahblah, and so the writer christopher wallace responds, “n’s say i’m pussy, i dare you to stick your dick in this. if i was pussy i’d be filled with syphillis, herpes, gonorrhea, chalamydia, getting rid of ya…” if the culture gives you “no homo,” big gives you, “n’s press they luck’n they get a butt fuckin’, straight up the ass raw dog w a rash … “
maybe that reads offensive to some, but I see the same dark wit I enjoy from subversive-when-they-want feminist writers like tina fey and mallory ortberg and amy schumer, pointedly using insecurities associated with identity politics or cultural orthodoxy to decapitate their enemies, women and men alike.
and like the best *humorists* biggie knew to blast himself too, “who you choosing? the wack emcee or the black fat emcee?” all part of big’s mystique and genius.
and dammit if we didn’t call gang starr being represented. so very validating. me and kim should party, or go through some trauma together. (though "the planet" was a surprise, but totally perfect, selection.)
look, I don’t write the news. but the shit says kim gordon listened to a lot of hip hop when she broke up with thurston moore. that’s just something we shouldn’t forget.
for some reason 60 Minutes, 20/20, 30 for 30 and everyone else didn’t see fit to follow up and ask what songs are on the playlist that soothes the pain of a Sonic Youth breakup…
feminist punk icon in the dumps? which artists get the nod for the kim gordon breakup-trauma mostly-hip-hop playlist? what truly bumps for the traumatized? is it contemporary or old school? escapist club stuff? is it emo? it’s hard to imagine it’s all drake and kanye, like “Shot for Me” and “Runaway” and “Heartless” and “Marvin’s Room,” but I think that’s who I would lean on. kim gordon karaoke of shot for me sounds kinda hot tbh. *the way you’ve got your hair up, did you forget that’s me?* hit them notes, girl.
but it could be anyone. kid cudi. old school outkast. beastie boys? Tribe? Em? does she rock ex to the next by gangstarr? nicki minaj?
whoever sees kim gordon next, be sensitive, but please let’s try and followup on this.
On deadline with a label that will do anything you say?
Talk a lot of money shit and need some impact symbol of hardcore blue-collar work ethic?
Need to show you’ll do anything to capture the tense anxious energy of when you were an underdog with something to prove?
Have absolutely no reason to sleep on an air mattress in a studio, cause as boss and main product really why would you need to do that - you could live in the studio with a nice futon or something - but fuck you gonna cop an air mattress and do that anyway?
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ok, I guess it would be cool, productive even, to work on a project and have something that means it’s really *go-time* now. Like lighting the torch for the Olympics. Producers, singers, emcees are bickering in the studio, and with cold dead eyes you go to the supply closet and pull out the air mattress. just drop the crumpled plastic heap in the middle of the room and watch the calm focus descend upon the room. for twenty minutes there’s only silent concentration and the sound of a machine (or assistant) blowing up the air mattress….
nah, i get it. shit, i use the sleeping on an air mattress trick just to psych myself up and reblog some miley cyrus memes. whatever you do, gotta make sure it’s done, front to back. how do you know you’re doing that, giving your 24-7 all, if there’s no air mattress involved?
“Is the second through fourth tier hip-hop scene much different from the rock scene? Because this guy’s story sounds like almost every rock band I like, at least all the ones since the seventies. And they all seem to speak very openly and even proudly about the rinky dink shows and getting screwed by distributors and club owners and everything. Not that they are happy about it, but it’s like a badge of honor in the rock world. I realize the image of rap is more about being super successful and rather than being outsiders and tenacious artistes like in rock, but I wonder if behind the scenes it is also harder to be less than a star in rap, where maybe rock has a system to sustain people on that lower level? Or maybe rappers just don’t have that model of how a career can go, and so when it turns out they’re not going to be stars it seems like more of a defeat where as rockers as long as they can keep touring and selling a couple thousand records it’s an acceptable level to work at?”—commenter on awesome onion av interview w j-zone
“He stood at the window of the empty cafe and watched the activities in the square and he said that it was good that God kept the truths of life from the young as they were starting out or else they’d have no heart to start at all.”—Cormac McCarthy, excerpt from All The Pretty Horses (via nonlinearnotes)
mark richardson with the excellent phrasing on difference between editorial (i.e. blogging) and “art”
sometimes editors point out something was wrong in what I’ve written, and I’m always like, WHY CAN’T YOU FIND MAGNIFENCE IN DESTRUCTION AND DECAY like my proes dose. why don’t you like the aesthetic i’ve built out of decaaaaay and losssss sssss ss s s ssss.
no one ever responds to that part.
PRO WRITER TIP: for those following looking for nuggets of wisdom on how to really do this thing. how to take it there. don’t — which is to say, Do Not — antagonize your editors with notions of magnificence in destruction. good luck!
ripped and stitched off the h&m ads, I bet this Badu cover would scorch the earth if placed in a mainstream movie w a female lead… or like an Amy Schumer sketch. all the m’ladies at brunch like: I’M A MAYYYYNNNEEE, I’m a full-grown mayne. too bad it only got used to move some h&m mom jeans.
“I had this reoccurring dream from the stage
in a suit with a fade
I had set the game ablaze
and they threw me a parade
I stacked a little change
took my family out the caves
but I was trapped in the maze like a lab rat
at the bottom of the barrel
where they keep the crabs at
no geico, no aflac
nothing to fall back on
but the streets where n’s cussed out the police and sold they crack on
better known as back home
where they treat the arabs and the spanish and the blacks wrong
there he go with that song
you may be tired but i spit what i’m inspired…”—
awww, look at erin gloria ryan dipping her toes in the rap-referent waters. very cute. (apparently blake lively’s lifestyle blog is not going over well)
makes me want to grab a black blogger and have a scene like that one in Eternal Sunshine where Clementine’s like “Joel, it’s all gonna be gone soon!” and he’s like “I know” and she’s like “what do we do???” and he’s like “enjoy it?” and then the Jon Brion kicks in and you’re like please nobody look at me right now
that’s us and Nas’s “Ether” y’all; it’s all gonna be gone soon…
just in time, you found me just in time before you came my time was running low I was lost the losing dice were tossed my bridges all were crossed nowhere to go now you’re here now i know just where I’m going no more doubt or fear i found my way for love came just in time, you found me just in time and changed my lonely nights that lucky day
poor stan van gundy. dude can’t get a break. bumped by riley to win the heat’s first championship. betrayed by his star player in orlando. stalked by lebron to the southeast division. lebron should have included him in The Letter (The Essay?): “This is bigger than the business of basketball. There’s also Stan Van Gundy, who is now a head coach and team president in the Central Division and it is my sworn oath to destroy him. So I’m going to Cleveland where with Chicago and Indiana, mayeb even Milwaukee, we’ll make sure that guy is never seen as more than a middling NBA mind though he’s actually pretty good. (Or maybe not? we’ll never know.) I’m coming home. XO”
the curse of stan van gundy is dead, long live the curse of stan van gundy
“I believe that in 2014, NBA megastar LeBron James will create the feel-good sports story of the millennium by becoming a free agent and rejoining the Cleveland Cavaliers. This seems like an impossible scenario: the team that LeBron spurned to “take [his] talents to South Beach”; the fan base that burned his jersey when he made “the Decision”; the owner who sent unhinged messages to the press in both the font and tone of an over-stimulated 11-year-old. It sounds impossible, yet LeBron hasn’t denied the possibility, and it makes sense in a way that transcends dollars, cents and championships.”—
And yet, LeBron James holds out the tantalizing possibility of being something more than a brand. There is something that made him say that his dream was to be “a global icon like Muhammad Ali.” There is something that made him dip a toe into waters African-American athletes rarely tread and say that he believed racism played a role in the ferocity of the reaction when he left Cleveland. There is something that compelled him to organize his team to stand up for Trayvon Martin, the entire team posing in hoodies, after the 17-year-old was killed by George Zimmerman. There is something—after all the bad blood, hurt feelings and still-sensitive scar tissue—that compels him to say he might leave Miami and return to Ohio. He’s our superstar in the age of declinism, but one who inspires belief that there are better days ahead. I believe that LeBron James will leave Miami next season and return to Cleveland to become something not even Michael Jordan ever achieved: a folk hero.
the fall of michael del zotto, damn. once rising star defenseman, now can’t even get a job (despite a league-wide hunger for skilled D)… would def want Rangers to grab him again on the cheap, but NYC’s surely absolutely the last place in hell to avoid demons and turn things around. funny to look at that 2009 roster (vinny prospal #2 scorer; also not much scoring) vs the stanley cup finalist five years later. sather had some work to do.
also crazy that brodeur can’t find a backup job anywhere.
all those people who kept repeating the joke about “the way the world’s going to shit, pretty soon they’ll do a revival of Cats with a rapping cat” rejoice! your prophecy has come true! you were right all along!
also, finally someone [else] recognizes one Thomas Stearns Eliot (from the Lou) as one of the original Juice Crew members. they say time is always telling…